Band - Baja - Baraat

It has been two long months that I have been away from writing.  Please excuse me for being away for so long.  Life is too busy to deal with so many things.  Anyways, I so wanted to pen down my experience of my brother’s wedding that happened last year in the month of October.  As you call it, ‘The Big Fat Indian Wedding’ was so much merriment and enfeeblement.  The shopping started way back in January.  As the months passed by, we started to realize that even 24 hours were less for us to prep up. I went to my mother’s place ten days in advance and believe you me, didn’t sit at home even for one day.  Every day was maddening, running from pillar to post.  The most tiring part of the wedding was the distribution of wedding invites which of course was handled by my parents.  Slowly and steadily everything was in place, from the caterer to the décor to the florist.  The day came near and the excitement was full.  

In the Indian style wedding, we have a number of rituals for the bride and the groom that has to be completed.  Various rites take place like the ring ceremony, where the groom and bride exchange rings with each other.   

The Mehndi ceremony which is usually held one night before the wedding where the bride or groom put mehndi (henna) in their hands which is very auspicious and with great music, dance and good food the ceremony goes on until the wee hours of the morning.  Nowadays, people have theme nights like bollywood etc.

The wedding day arrived, more than the excitement; we all became busy since morning.  The rites begin from the morning itself.  The first rite in case of a groom wedding where the groom was my brother, we (that includes close relatives) put turmeric on his face which is known as ‘Haldi Ceremony’.  It begins with a prayer ceremony where the priest does all the rites.  The priest has his own paraphernalia and worship the god and goddess and prayers to shower their choicest blessings on the groom who is now entering into 'the householder’s life'. 

He is now supposed to perform the duties of the master of a house and father of a family.

After an hour or so the haldi ceremony came to an end and the next rite began.  This is the ‘Ghadoli’ ceremony where the sister of the groom has to take a ‘Ghada’ meaning ‘pitcher’ on the head and has to get water from the nearby temple.  This water is then used for bathing the groom.  The water is said to be sanctities with this rite.   This ceremony is also attended by the close relatives.  

Then there is ‘Sehra’ ceremony before heading to the bride’s place.  In this ceremony, the groom wears the ‘Sehra’ ( a well decorated turban) on his head which indicates that he is the groom and is now ready to head to the bride’s place on the horse.

The ‘Sehra’ is given by the groom’s sister’ and the knife/sword in the groom’s hand (which he has to carry until the end of the wedding) is presented to him by his brother in law.  The significance of holding the knife/sword in the hand by the groom is to keep all evils away.  

It was now time to have some dance on the move while we all headed to the bride’s place.  All the ladies in particular decked up with loads of jewelry, fashionable and shining ethnic attires come together and put their feet together on the bhangra (typical Punjabi music) beats.  The men as well join in and the wedding bells begin to ring in the form of music, beats all around.

We all reached the bride’s place and there was my brother standing to cut the ribbon at the entrance.  The bride’s sisters allow the groom to enter only after he cuts the ribbon. 

The stage was set; the venue was filled with the aroma of fresh flowers.  I took my brother on the stage and there came the gorgeous looking bride, in the ethnic attire, looking absolutely fabulous.  

As they both put the flower garland in each other’s neck, signifying the mutual acceptance from both.  Relatives from both the sides then take over the stage with the groom and the bride and bless them.  The moments are of course captured in the camera.  Few others just hit the dinner table to rush back home.  

It was time for us to head for the dinner.  The groom and the bride along with both the families and relatives sat and had dinner.  We then proceeded to the next rite of the ‘Pheras’ (Seven Vows).

A time is fixed by the Hindu priest as to when the ‘Pheras’ (Seven Vows) will take place.  The ritual of seven vows is one of the most significant rituals of the Hindu wedding.  A pious fire is lit and the groom and the bride take seven circumambulations and this rite is performed under the guidance of the priest in sanskrit.  (an ancient language of India - the language of the Vedas and of Hinduism; an official language of India, now used only for religious purposes).

The ritual commenced by the bride’s parents welcoming the groom for the Ganesha puja.  This prayer particularly marks the beginning of all the festivities, special occasions to ward off any evil and the wedding is concluded without any hindrance.

Then there came the loving, the most gorgeous bride escorted by the relatives and friends.  ‘Kanyadaan’ ‘Gift of Girl’ is the most significant ritual of the wedding.  This ritual is performed by the father of the bride as the sacred verses are read by the priest.  

Then the seven vows ritual started.  The pious fire was lit and the groom and bride were tied together with a drape signifying their amalgamation.  Each vow sworn has different meaning and both the groom and the bride accept it.  

The Seven Vows:

1.       The couple prays to god for pure and plenty of nutritious food.  They ask god to let them walk together to get food.

2.       The couple prays to God for a healthy and well-heeled life.

3.       The couple prays to God for wealth.

4.       The couple prays to God for the gain in love and respect for each other and their families.

5.       The couple prays to God for healthy, obedient and noble children.

6.       The couple prays to God for the peaceful long life together.

7.       In the final vow, the couple prays to God for the loyalty, togetherness and understanding between each other.

My brother and sister in law exchanged these vows of love and respect as they circumambulated with each vow.

In the Hindu custom women adorn herself with the red powder (sindoor) in her hair in the middle parting which is an expression of the desire for their husband’s longevity.  My brother put Sindoor in her hair and tied the ‘mangalsutra’(a necklace of gold with black beads).  This signifies that the woman wearing it is married.

Since it was time for us to take our bride to her new house, we knew that the shoes of the groom were missing.  The bride’s sisters play this prank and in return of the shoes a heavy ransom is given to them.

The Doli (Palanquin) which now is usually car to ferry the bride is placed outside.  The bride met all her relatives and friends with tears in her eye and sat in the car.  We all rejoiced and took our new family member home.

We all were totally exuberated and exhausted of course.  The Big Fat Indian Wedding concluded with great joy and felicity.